A couple of years ago I crashed. Not a literal one, though it hurt just as much. My days rolled into one long blur, filled only with work, obligations, and efforts to meet everyone’s demands except for my own. I would wake up feeling drained, go through the day on autopilot, and go to bed feeling like I hadn’t done nearly enough. It looked like I had it all on the outside, but on the inside, I was falling apart.
One evening, after the umpteenth long workday, I sat in the car parked in our driveway, unable to go inside. I felt a tightness in my chest and tears prick my eyes. I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but I knew things had to be different. That was my wake-up call — a sign that I ignored myself for way too long.
It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly I began to rebuild. Gradually, I learned to put myself first in ways that would not only matter but that I could sustain. I didn’t want to just “fix” things; I wanted my relationship with myself to be transformed. And that’s how I learned these eight habits of self-love. They didn’t just help me feel better, they changed how I live, think, and feel.
I want to share them with you because if you’re reading this, perhaps you could use them as well.
Start the Day With Intention
My mornings were a mess back then. I’d hit snooze three times, mindlessly scroll through my phone, and scramble out the door. It was like the day owned me even before I could show up for it.
These days, I begin my morning with a simple intention-setting ritual. When I wake up, I spend a few precious moments sitting quietly with my coffee (which I’ve learned to sip, rather than guzzle). There’s only one question that I ask myself: how do I want to feel today?
Some days, the answer is peaceful. Some days it’s “energized” or “focused.” I jot it down and remember it throughout the day. This little practice has served as a compass reminding me what to focus on and not allowing the noise of the world to determine how I feel.
Move Your Body, Your Way
Exercise used to be a punishment — a penance for eating dessert or missing a workout. No wonder I dreaded it. But one night, when a friend asked me to attend a dance class, something clicked. It was pure joy. I was laughing, sweating, and completely present.
That’s when I understood that movement didn’t have to come with calorie counts, and it didn’t have to be perfect. It can be about being alive. Now, I put the movement that fulfills bodies in front of everything. Yoga, hiking, that same class in which I was brought to tears. Some days 10 minutes; some days it’s an hour. The point is doing it for me — not for someone else’s expectations.
Nourish Yourself With Care
I’m gonna be real: I used to have an all-or-nothing relationship with food. I’d either go way too far, or I’d indulge in every craving, then feel guilty later. I didn’t start to change until I began to pay attention to how food affected how I felt.
Rather than judging foods as “good” or “bad,” I asked myself, What does my body need right now? Sometimes the answer was a colorful big salad. Sometimes it was chocolate cake. And you know what? Both are okay.
Nourishing yourself isn’t “playing by the rules” — it’s finding balance and respecting what your body asks of you. When you treat food with care and curiosity rather than with judgment, it is an act of self-love.
Set Boundaries To Protect Your Energy
If you’re a people-pleaser like I used to be, then you know the feeling of telling others “yes” when you really want to say “no.” For years, I felt as though I was letting people down by setting boundaries, but the person I was really letting down was myself.
The first time I said “no” to something I didn’t want to do, I was terrified. But afterward, I experienced a relief I hadn’t anticipated. Over the years, I discovered that boundaries aren’t about keeping people out of your life — they’re about carving out time and space for the things that really matter to you.
Now that I’m being pulled too much in all directions, I remind myself that denying someone else is often denying myself.
Practice Self-Compassion
To be honest, I was probably my biggest critic for a long time. Any slight mistake, no matter how small, would cause me to berate myself for hours. I would replay conversations, overanalyze decisions and berate myself over things no one else even noticed.
Then one day I read something that changed my world: “Speak to yourself like you would speak to someone you love.”
It struck me like a ton of bricks. I would never dream of speaking to a friend the way I spoke to myself. So I began to try self-compassion. When I messed up, I told myself that I was human. Whenever I felt unworthy, I’d spiral out of it by listing the things I was proud of.
It wasn’t easy, but I learned over time to treat myself with the same kindness that I should have received all along.
Prioritize Rest and Reflection
Rest once seemed like laziness in my mind. I’d keep myself busy every minute, believing productivity was the same as value. But as I burned out, I understood that rest is just as crucial as action.
Now I schedule guilt-free downtime. I’ll take a nap if I feel like it, read a book just for fun, or spend an afternoon doing nothing at all. I also make time to reflect — either in writing or meditation.
It’s during those quiet moments when I’ve learned the most about myself — what I want, what I need, and what really matters. Rest is not a reward; it is a requirement.
Surround Yourself With Positivity
I used to keep some people in my life out of a sense of obligation, despite the fact that they drained me emotionally. I also habitually doom-scrolled on social media, engaging with so much negativity without ever being aware of it.
Releasing toxic elements was not easy, but it was needed. I began to hang around with people who lifted me up and less around people who brought me down. I also curated my social media feeds, unfollowing accounts that made me feel challenged and seeking out content that inspired.
Your environment matters. The philosophy behind surrounding yourself with positivity isn’t to turn a blind eye to reality, but rather to select what gives you energy over what drains you.
Keep Celebrating Yourself Along the Journey
Until very recently, I really only celebrated the “big” milestones — like a promotion, big move, or birthday. However, what about the minor victories? Those little victories that no one recognizes?
Now, I celebrate those too. Perhaps I completed a difficult project, fulfilled a promise I made to myself, or simply survived a difficult day. Whatever it is, I pause to observe it.
You don’t have to go all out to celebrate yourself. It could be something as simple as allowing yourself your favorite dessert, writing yourself a note of encouragement, or saying to yourself, “I’m proud of you.”
Bringing It All Together
These eight habits did more than help me recover from burnout — they helped me thrive. They taught me that self-love isn’t about being self-indulgent, but rather that it’s something we must have.
When you begin prioritizing yourself in these ways, magic begins to happen. And you start to feel more grounded, more confident, and more at peace with who you are. It’s not perfection—it’s progress.
If you’ve stuck through to the end, I hope you will try one (or all) of these habits. Start small. Be patient with yourself. And keep in mind: self-love is a journey, not a destination.
Because the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for everything else in your life. Take care of it. You’re worth it.
Read also: happiness The 7 Habits of Happy People
